August Picnic!

We are having a picnic in August for all FSA members and their families. It is on Saturday, August 27 at 5:30 pm at Founders Park in Centerville. Please bring a main dish for your family as well as a side dish to share (salad, chips, veggies, etc). Water and paper goods will be provided by FSA. There is a playground for kids to play on. We hope to see you there!

Clarksons - Parents In A Day

Beautiful video about one couple's journey to parenthood:

Play Group

Play group is tomorrow, Wednesday the 29th at 10:00 am at Founders Park in Centerville. We hope to see you there!

Chat Tonight

Chat night is tonight at the Reed's home. Email us if you need the address. We are talking tonight about ways to save money for adoption. Please come and bring your ideas as well!

Mother's Day Lunch

To all FSA WOMEN,
Please join us for lunch at Costa Vida in Layton on Saturday, May 21 at 1:00 pm to celebrate Mother's Day together, even though it is 2 weeks after the holiday! This lunch is especially for the amazing women who are waiting to be mothers, and those who have become mothers through the miracle of adoption. It will be a relaxed setting where we women can connect with one another over our similar journeys toward motherhood. We will have a green balloon at our table so that you know where to go once you enter Costa Vida. It is the Costa Vida by the theater in Layton. We are combining this activity with the Layton Office, it should be a lot of fun!
We hope to see you there!

May's Chat Night

Don't forget chat group this month! We will be meeting at the home of Jeff and Elizabeth Reed at 7pm on Wednesday, May 18. We will have an adoptee who is about to leave on a mission come talk to us about being a teenager who was adopted. His mom will also be there to answer questions and tell their story. Chat group is a great way to get to know other adoptive couples! We hope you are able to make it.

Transracial Adoption Class: Breaking Stereotypes

We received the following information on a transracial adoption class, and wanted to pass on the information to all of you:

Please join us for our next transracial adoption class, Breaking Stereotypes, on May 13th at 6:30 pm. Associate Professor and researcher Andrea Hardeman will be teaching us what stereotypes are, how they impact our children of color, and how to address them. We will all benefit from this rich discussion on attitudes and beliefs on race.

Due to the popularity of these classes, we will hold this session in the conference room of the School Improvement Network at 32 West Center Street in Midvale. The building sits near the intersection of State Street and 7720 South (Center Street in Midvale).

Please R.S.V.P. if you are able to attend. Feel free to pass this information on to anyone who may be interested. We look forward to learning with you!

Please email us at centervillefsa@gmail.com for the information on where to RSVP to, as we do not want to give out personal information over our blog.

Board Meeting

Our next board meeting is this Thursday, May 12 at 11:00 am at the Centerville Agency. Hope to see you there!

April Play Group!

Play Group is Wednesday, April 27 at 10:00 am at the same church that it has been at the last two months. The address will be sent to you in an email. Hope to see you there, these play groups have been so much fun!

Tami & Kevin's Adoption Story

I’m Tami and I’m married to a wonderful man named Kevin. We have two biological boys ages 7 and 5 and newborn twin girls who we adopted. This post is about our journey to have our girls join our family. It’s a bit long, but well worth the read.
Kevin and I had been hoping to adopt for much longer than we would have liked. We knew this was a possibility, but once a year of being approved rolled around with no real contact from a birth mom, we decided to be a bit more proactive with our adoption journey.

We decided that we should make adoption pass along cards and send them out to our friends and family with our Christmas cards that year. We had my old college roommate take new family photos of us. She did an amazing job and once we got those back, I used photoshop and vista print to design and print business card sized pass along cards.

We then printed Christmas cards and wrote our annual Christmas letter. As we stuffed the envelopes for the Christmas cards/letters we added about three pass along cards. In the letter we explained what the cards were for and for our friends and family to ask us for more cards if they needed any. We told them that these cards could be handed to anyone, left with a check at a restaurant, posted on public bulletin boards or given to potential birth mothers.

We continued to pray that Heavenly Father would guide the birth mom carrying the baby that was meant to be in our family to us. At the end of January, I received a yahoo instant message from my friend, A. She asked me if we were okay with adopting twins. A friend of hers had asked her if she and her husband would be interested since they haven’t been able to have children. It was A’s friend’s brother’s girlfriend that was expecting twin girls. After discussing with her husband and realizing that at this time they wouldn’t be able to, she asked me. I told her that we would love to adopt twins and to pass along one of our cards.

Weeks went by and we didn’t hear a word. Finally, on February 17th, the expectant mom, K, emailed us. I didn’t receive the email until the following day. I was flabbergasted that we had actually been contacted by a potential birth mom. She told us that she was 32 weeks pregnant. She told us that she didn’t know much about the adoption process, but that she just wanted her girls to go to a good home. She said that when she saw our picture on the card that she wanted to cry because she could see that we were a great family. She told me she had a three year old that was being cared for by her mother and wanted to know if we were still interested in “taking” her girls.

I started to cry as I considered what to say in a response back to her. I emailed our caseworker, S, asking for some help. She called me shortly after receiving the email and told me to try to focus on K as much as possible and ask if she wanted to meet us.

I typed up an email, erasing things and adding new things over and over until I thought it was perfect. I told her that we were interested in getting to know her more and that we would love to meet her if she was comfortable with that. I asked her to tell us more about her and when her due date was. I wrote that our hearts went out to her and told her that we knew it was a very hard decision for her to make.

Since she had said she didn’t know much about the adoption process, I told her that we could help her as much as we could, but that we recommended having her go to LDSFS. I let her know that there services were completely free to birth parents. I gave her the phone number and address to the closet LDSFS. I told her that if she chooses to place with us for her to let them know she’s chosen us when she talked with them. We also let her know that if she wasn’t comfortable with going to LDSFS, that we could do a private adoption through an attorney. We thanked her for emailing us and let her know that it brought joy to our hearts and that we hoped she wanted to get to know us more as well. Then we waited.

I knew that she didn’t have a job because my friend A had told me as much. I waited all day for a response wondering why on earth she hadn’t responded since I knew she didn’t have a job to be at. Finally, a response came right at dinner time. She wanted to meet us and the boys and wanted me to call her. I had a Relief Society activity that night, so I postponed calling her. To be honest, I was pretty nervous to call her and needed some time to think about it. I contacted S again asking for more help.

I let the few Relief Society sisters who were at the activity know of the possibility. They promised to pray for us. The next morning, our oldest son, B, had the baptism preview at the church first thing. Because of this, I once again put off calling K. After returning from the baptism preview, it still took me an hour or so before I had enough courage to call K. She had asked us to text her first so she would know the number we were calling from. I texted her and asked her if it was a good time to call. She texted back that it was.

I honestly was pretty blunt in that phone call and didn’t have much small talk before asking her if she wanted to meet up. She surprised me by saying that she had just gotten up and needed to take a shower, but would be able to meet as soon as she was done with that. I had thought the soonest she would want to meet would be dinner time or even the following week, so I was a bit surprised. I asked her where she wanted to meet and she came up with Denny’s. Never in my life would I have thought that Denny’s would hold a special place in my heart.

We met up at 1:00pm that day and we got there just a little bit before she did. We talked about her and her interests before talking at all about the pregnancy and potential adoption. The waitress at Denny’s was very interesting. She automatically called K, mom, every time she came around to check on us. She eventually asked K if she knew if it was a boy or a girl. When K told her it was two girls, the waitress majorly flipped and started telling K she needed to get all the sleep she could now because it was going to be a lot of work to have twins. Of course the lady at the next table overheard and felt she needed to butt in as well.

After the lady at the next table went back to eating, we started talking about if K would prefer to use the agency or an attorney for the adoption. I’m pretty sure that the lady at the next table overheard that because she was giving us strange looks the rest of the time we were there. We thought it was pretty funny.

K hadn’t told us yet that she for sure wanted to place with us, so while Kevin took our boys over to the crane machine, I asked her if she felt comfortable placing with us. She told me that she really did. She then told me that she had met some other adoptive couples that her friends had introduced her to and none felt right. One couple even had the audacity to tell her that they would adopt one of the twins, but not both. I was shocked at that.

As the meal ended and we were parting ways, we promised to keep in touch and K invited me to her ultrasound appointment which was a week and a half away. I was so excited to see the babies. I asked her if I could give her a hug and she said I could. I couldn’t imagine parting any other way.
T
he weeks passed and we were assured the babies would be here soon as K had preterm labor prior to us meeting her. I got to go to the ultrasound and we saw that the girls both had hair. Baby B was the only one we could get a good face shot of and once the 4D was turned on, she decided it’d be great to put her hand in front of her face. What a silly little girl.

More weeks passed and the girls still stayed put in K. K was getting pretty uncomfortable as more time went on. Our oldest son, B, had his birthday, his birthday party and then his baptism before the twins decided to make their appearance. We were very grateful for more than one reason that the preterm labor issues stopped once we met her.

K missed her 36 week appointment because her truck was broken and her boyfriend, J’s, truck broke down as well. I let her know that I’d be more than willing to take her to her next appointment. On Friday of that week, I texted K to check on her. I got no response, but didn’t think too much of it at that time. On Sunday afternoon (March 27th), I texted her to see if she would need me to take her to her OB appointment the next day since I hadn’t heard from her one way or the other and I would need to make arrangements for my boys to be picked up from school if she needed me to take her. Again, no response. I waited until after dinner and texted her again telling her that if I didn’t hear from her that night, I would be calling her in the morning to make sure she didn’t need a ride.

I also started panicking at that point. K had always been super quick to respond to texts. Not having any response since the previous Wednesday was scary to me. I started wondering if she was changing her mind. After all the time we had waited for another child to be added to our family the possibility of a failed adoption would have been devastating. I sobbed all night waiting for her to respond. I messaged some friends on facebook asking for prayers in regards to the situation.

The next morning after I called K and she didn’t answer, my heart sunk. Was she ignoring me? I still left a voice mail asking her to call me back if she needed a ride. At that point, I also emailed my caseworker to let her know that there was no communication between us and K all of a sudden. She assured me that a lot of birth moms pull back as it gets closer to when the baby will be born because they are more fully realizing what their decision to create an adoption plan means. I continued to sob thinking the worse.

Shortly after noon, the most wonderful thing happened. I got a text message from K. Apparently, she hadn’t received any of the texts from Friday nor Sunday until just then. I’ve never been a fan of text messaging and had only been doing so because it was the form of communication K preferred. Text messaging is not all it’s cracked up to be. Delayed texts are awful.

K let me know that they were able to get J’s truck working and so she didn’t need a ride. Then she said that she was actually going to skip the appointment and go straight to the hospital. She was in a lot of pain and was hoping they would induce her since she was past 37 weeks by a few days. I told her to keep me posted and I finished getting our things ready for to go to the hospital just in case.

I didn’t hear anything until about 5:00pm and K told me that they hadn’t been at the hospital for very long. A couple hours later I learned that twin B decided to flip head up. Because of that, they would not induce her. At that point, they were waiting for her OB to call the hospital back to find out what to do. I was wondering if they were going to take her in for a c-section that night. Once the OB called back it was determined that the c-section would be scheduled for Sunday, April 2, at 5:30am and they sent K home with a prescription for lortab for the pain.
That day was a major emotional roller coaster. I had gone from sobbing thinking that K was ignoring me and possibly changing her mind, to elated that she contacted me again and the possibility that the babies would be born that day and then disappointed that the babies would not be coming. I was emotionally exhausted as I went to bed that night.

The next day I received a text message from K that she was having labor contractions, but the hospital wanted her to stay put for the time being. I didn’t think too much about it considering they had sent her home the night before and she had been having contractions off and on during her pregnancy already.

Just before 2:00pm, my home phone rang, then my cell phone rang which meant K was calling. We had given K a google voice number so that we would for sure get her call when she was in labor. The google voice number is free and we set it up so it rings our home phone and my cell phone. We tested it out using Kevin’s phone and discovered that it rings the home phone first and then my cell phone. I answered the phone and K told me that her and J were at the pharmacy trying to fill her prescription for lortab when she realized that the contractions were just too much. She told me they were running home to grab their hospital bag and then heading to the hospital. I told her that I’d call Kevin and we’d be heading up.

It was the plan that I would be in with her during a c-section, but by the time we got to the hospital, they had already taken her back. J was forced to go in with her even though the sight of blood makes him ill. I was a bit disappointed to have missed going in with her to see the babies being born, but we were excited to know that there for sure would be born that day. The nurses told us we could wait in the waiting area. I got out my laptop and updated facebook to reflect the changes that had occurred of when the babies would be born.

The hospital social worker came up and talked to us about how much of a relationship we had with K and other hospital procedure stuff in regards to adoption. She told us that now would be the time to grab a bite to eat since we might not have too much of a chance after the c-section was done. It was a bit early for dinner but we decided to go down to the cafeteria and bring our food back up to the labor and delivery floor to eat it.

By the time we got back up, J was standing in the hallway looking for us. He told us it went well and that everyone was well. We asked him how he was doing and if he needed any food. He looked at us with a pale face and told us that he didn’t think he could eat for awhile.

The nurses told us we could put our food down in a room and then we went to see K. After visiting with her for awhile, the nurse brought the twins in to see all of us. We were elated to see our beautiful girls.

K’s mom came to the labor and delivery floor at the same time we had come back up with our food, so we got to meet her and talk with her. We asked K’s mom if she wanted to hold the girls and she very politely refused with tears in her eyes saying she didn’t think she could handle it. She knew that it was best for the girls to be placed for adoption, but it was still hard. We were very impressed with her for being so strong. She knew that she would have a hard time with K placing if she became too attached to the twins.

After a bit we were told that K would be moved soon and that we could go with the babies to the transition nursery. We got our food as well and ate in the small little transition nursery. J’s sisters came and peeked through the nursery window. We had never met them so they were wondering who we were. We assumed they were friends or relatives of K and J.

Once K was in her new room, we followed with the babies. We visited with K and J and J’s family. We all held the babies and we were told we would have the room next to K to stay in during the hospital stay for K and the babies. We knew that K didn’t want the babies in the nursery, so when it was apparent we were all ready to go to bed, we asked her if she wanted the girls to room in with her and J or if she wanted them to be with us in the room next door. She whole heartedly said she wanted them with us.

We had a fun time with our sweet girls as we waited for the day that K would sign relinquishment. We also spent more time with K and J. It was an amazing experience. On Wednesday, the woman who is in charge of birth certificates came into our room. She told us that K wanted the names we had chosen to be on the birth certificates. We chose Emma Noelle for baby A and Ellie Jayne for baby B.

(Kevin with the girls)


On K’s whiteboard in her room the nurses had put that her anticipated discharge date would be Saturday. We were very surprised Thursday morning when a doctor came in and said that discharge would happen that afternoon. Relinquishment was to be signed at discharged; we got pretty excited thinking we would be able to take our babies home that day.

Our hopes were dashed when the pediatrician came in and told us he didn’t feel comfortable letting the twins leave just yet since they hadn’t even been tested for bilirubin nor had a car seat check. So, we then planned on staying another night. K, however, hadn’t been told that the twins couldn’t be discharged and as soon as her caseworker, M showed up she told her she wanted to sign right away. M came and talked to us and we told her that was fine, but that the twins wouldn’t be able to leave until the next day. M went and talked with K again and it was decided that she would stay another day and sign in the morning.

It was planned for relinquishment to be signed at 10:00am and then a fill in caseworker for us would come at 10:30 for us to sign our paperwork. Our caseworker had another placement occurring that morning with a birth mother and felt strongly that it was important for her to be with the birth mother instead of us. We were okay with that and we had previously met who they were sending to fill in for S.

M poked her head into our room a bit after 10:15 apologizing for being late. She had a family problem she had to deal with before being able to come. She was surprised that our caseworker wasn’t there yet as she hadn’t been told that she was coming at 10:30. Our fill in caseworker, A, got there while K was in with M signing relinquishment. We started to fill out our paperwork, but informed A that we hadn’t received the birth mother health and social history yet so we couldn’t initial that we had received that yet.

Soon after M came in with the health and social history for K and let us know that K had signed. Kevin and I quickly read over it and then continued with our paperwork. Once we were done, we just chilled out with A and M while K had some alone time with the girls. A and M asked us about how we met K and our story. We told them it all and they kept saying how smoothly this placement had been. We kept telling them how wonderful K was and we were very grateful to know her. She has such a warm place in our hearts.

M went and checked on K and came back and told us that whenever we were ready we could go in and see K. We took K two Build a Bears that our boys had made for her, a blanket I had made her, and a scrapbook album so that she would know we were planning on sending her pictures. We first gave her the bears (well, actually, one bear and one cat). The boys had named them the girls’ names and on the “birth certificates” had it listed that which one made which one for K. She loved them. Then I gave her the blanket. She got so excited because the back is super soft bamboo velour and one of the fabrics on the top is a Supergirl print. I had specifically seen that fabric and bought it long before we were matched with the intent to use it on a birth mother blanket.

I knew that we would think that the birth mother was definitely super with special powers to be able to put the needs of her baby before her wants. It was perfect for her. We then gave her the scrapbook album and she said that while she’s not good at scrapbook stuff, J’s sister loves it and will for sure want to help with that.

We then talked some more for a bit before we asked for hugs before we left. Amazingly, none of us cried, but we have such a great love for K. She is truly amazing.

As we drove home, Kevin and I kept smiling at one another and getting teary eyed knowing that our girls finally made their way to our family. In between my boys, I had miscarried twins. I was given the strongest impression that we would be able to raise those babies in this life. I then had a dream that those babies were girls. At the time, I thought that I would just get pregnant with twins again. Little did I know that they would come to our family through adoption and a wonderful birth mother.

(Tami and one of her little angels)

Chat Night

Chat night will be held this Wednesday, April 20 at 7:00 pm at the Reed's home. The address was sent out in an email, let us know if you did not receive it. The topic for this month is "what to do while you wait". We hope to see you there!

Peach's Adoption Story

I love this woman! I met her at our FSA play group a couple months ago and she is such an inspiration to me. Click here to see her blog. I asked her if she would write down her adoption story for us to share, and she agreed! Enjoy!
-Kira Centerville FSA Co-Chair

Hi. My name is Peach. When asked what I wanted to be when I grow up I always replied "a mommy". Okay, so sometimes I replied a teacher, but only because I could have more kids to mommy.

When I married my husband I was almost twenty-five years young. We discussed children and almost immediately wanted to try for a baby. However, I listened to others who said that we need time alone together before starting a family. We had known each other for only a year before marrying after all. So we waited until sometime around our first anniversary.

We struggled just a bit with infertility. Two years later our first born, Olivia, was born still at twenty-four weeks gestation. A parent should never have to bury their child. Thankfully the Lord gave us the gift of "meeting" her in the temple one day. She is my heart, and my soul, and the source of all my strength. That daughter of mine is a valiant and righteous spirit who I am most proud of.

Then we found out I had problems carrying a baby as well as conceiving. We began to feel, through divine inspiration, that there was an African-American baby girl in our future. We even knew what her name should be. We applied for adoption with LDSFS, but I also knew, through prayer, that it was the Lord's plan for me to carry a child. I just didn't know when. During a visit to the temple my husband and I had strong confirmation that we would bring a baby into this world. A week or so later I suffered a miscarriage.

We continued on with the adoption paperwork. We were approved the weekend we found out we were pregnant for a third time. Our file was put on hold while we waited to see if this pregnancy would produce a baby. With the help of modern medicine our son was born two months shy of two years from the day our daughter was born still. Miracle. Babies, pregnancy, birth are miracles. I was, and still am in awe. We still felt certain that the African-American baby girl still belonged in our family so we again put in papers to adopt on our son's first birthday. At first we listed with LDSFS again, but were worried that our African-American daughter would not be able to come through that agency. We prayed and felt confirmation that our baby was going to come from a different agency. Then adoption stories and suggestions on agencies came flooding in, and they all pointed to one particular agency. We knew that was the route our birthmother would take. So we switched agencies. It was a tough decision. We are not financially endowed. We would have to go into some serious debt. We would have to sacrifice for this child. We knew it, we accepted it, and of course we have never regretted it.

A couple months later a birthmother was given our profile. We did not feel bad about the possible placement, we just didn't feel good about it. Then it was discovered she was in contact with a few different agencies and placed her baby through an agency located states away from us. Not long after that our agency contacted us again. A birthmother was being shown our profile with two others. You know how it feels - pins and needles and jumping every time the phone rings. It finally did and I heard the excitement in the caseworker's voice. We had been chosen. Our baby was on her way. Our birthmother was having contractions and pains and was expected to deliver early. She was in and out of the hospital thinking for sure she was in labor. Finally, after enduring all this for weeks, she was in labor. She had a hard time. The baby had a hard time. It ended in an emergency c-section with a possibility of our birthmother needing a blood transfusion. We received a call that night and were on a plane the next morning.

Our baby was born in the state I was born and raised in, so my momma drove to the airport and picked us up. We got there even before the caseworker did. We went to a hotel and waited for another phone call. It came late that night. Our caseworker met our birthmother and her baby. Both were doing just fine. Our birthmother still wants a closed adoption. We can go see the baby now if we want. If we want?! We jumped in the car and headed out. Momma stayed with our sleeping son at the hotel while we were gone. I can not even begin to explain my emotions during that forty-five minute drive to the hospital. I was finally going to meet this little girl I knew belonged in our family and had been searching for for years. Then all of a sudden we were there and waiting for the elevator doors to open and jogging down the hall to the nurses station where we met our caseworker. She took us a few steps away to the nursery. We were shown into a small "family room" inside the nursery where there was a hand washing station, a couch, a side table and lamp, and a rocking chair. We waited literally on the edge of our seats for the nurse to bring in our baby. The door opened and I saw one of those plastic bassinets on wheels being pushed by the kindest looking woman I'd ever seen. I stood. I was almost afraid to look down at this somebody all wrapped up in pink. I looked into the nurse's eyes with tears welling up in my own. She smiled and gave an "it's okay, go ahead" gesture, and I looked down. My breath was taken from my chest. I knew this child. Our spirits knew each other. I stroked her hair and said, "Hello baby".

The rest was fairly simple. We stayed there a few days until our daughter was released, during which time I was at the hospital holding our new baby twelve hours a day. Then we drove to Momma's house, the house I grew up in, to wait for the ICPC to go though court for a couple weeks. We finalized six months later. We feel immensely blessed.

Faith and Infertility

Have you seen the article in this month's Ensign about faith and infertility? It is wonderful! Click here to read it!

Adoption Tax Benefits

Click here for updated information on the adoption tax credit.

Utah Infertility Awareness Event 2011

The Utah Infertility Awareness Event will be held on:

Saturday, April 30th

9:00 am - Noon

(Check in begins at 8:45 at the University of Utah)

Health Sciences Education Building, Room 1750

Click here for complete directions and parking info

This is a FREE event, however, seating is limited so registration is required. Registration begins April 1st and will be available through this website. Please check the utah infertility awareness blog regularly for more information as it becomes available.